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Reading what the people calling for a US Constitutional Convention say (and less often, owing to a paucity of coherent material, what they write), watching what they do, I think they'd actually be happier with a new Council of Trent and Westminster Convention of Faith. They could deal with the pesky problem of 1 Peter 2:13 and all that socialistic bushwah in the 5th through 7th chapters of Matthew.
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Page Summary
April 2010
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Gwenda just found out she's the recipient of this year's Veritas Award from the Romance Writers of America for her Publisher's Weekly piece, "Romancing the Recession!" I want to read at least a hundred books this year, but here in the twelfth week I'm already falling behind. But, so far: Occult America: The Secret History of How Mysticism Shape Our Nation by Mitch Horowitz. 2009. Bantam Books, New York. Orphans Preferred: The Twisted Truth and Lasting Legend of the Pony Express by Christopher Corbett. 2003. Broadway Books, New York. Boone: A Biography by Robert Morgan. 2007. Algonquin Books, Chapel Hill. The Magic Thief: Book One by Sarah Prineas. 2008. HarperCollins, New York. Foundling by D.M. Cornish. 2006. Speak, New York. The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud. 2003. Miramax Books, New York. Cosmonaut Keep by Ken MacLeod. 2000. Tor Books, New York. Dark Light by Ken MacLeod. 2002. Tor Books, New York. Engine City by Ken MacLeod. 2003. Tor Books, New York. The Reality Dysfunction by Peter F. Hamilton. 1996. Orbit, New York. The Neutronium Alchemist by Peter F. Hamilton. 1997. Orbit, New York. The Naked God by Peter F. Hamilton. 2000. Orbit, New York. Knights of Spain, Warriors of the Sun: Hernando de Soto and the South's Ancient Chiefdoms by Charles Hudson. 1997. University of Georgia Press, Athens. Manitou and Providence: Indians, Europeans, and the Making of New England, 1500-1643 by Neal Salisbury. 1982. Oxford University Press, New York. The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell. 2008. Riverhead Books, New York. Half Moon: Henry Hudson and the Voyage that Redrew the Map of the New World by Douglas Hunter. 2009. Bloomsbury Press, New York. The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. 1895. Longmeadow Press, New York. Kentucky Union Railway: Lexington & Eastern Railroad, Lexington, Kentucky, 1852-1915 by William M. Ambrose. 2007. Limestone Press, Lexington. Peculiar Power: A Quaker Woman Preacher in Eighteenth-Century America by Cristine Levenduski. 1996. Smithsonian Institution Press, Washington, DC. Just took one of my periodic fast skim research trips across the internet regarding problems and issues with backyard poultry. The biggest seems to be that (unavoidably) imprecise sexing leads to people having unwanted roosters amongst the hens, and then what "to do" with hens when they've reached the end of their productive laying lives. Nobody's considered, y'know, eating them? If you try to kill your wife and child, you're not a family man, you're a psychopath. If you expend tremendous effort trying to protect your wealth by dodging taxes, you're not a patriot, you're a criminal. If you own your own airplane, you're not downtrodden. Hemingway's opinion of my attempts at writing so far today:
"Anthropomorphic climate change" describes a complex set of features and tendencies in the Earth's semi-closed atmosphere. Scientists seek to better understand these phenomena using observations enabled by sophisticated technology within a context provided by cutting-edge data analyses. The scientific method is not a political agenda, and it does not threaten your "way of life" (in fact, it enabled your way of life). "Global warming," on the other hand, is a sophist's piñata, a phrase deployed to limit understanding and discourage enquiry. It's a bugbear, a tool used by plutocrats to bait closed minds.
When you write skits for Saturday Night Live, you spend your days doing two things. Praying that nobody ever sends Kristen Wiig a pilot script she likes and devising sketches that are logistically required to go at least two minutes too long. You have to let the first thing go. As for the second, sometimes, you can write a sketch about a show that's better than yours. When the sketch is built around affected or willful ignorance, you always have to remember these three things.
First: Bring your C game. Witty and incisive humor is not always a plus, especially when the skit is filler, dependent on repetition and on broad physical gestures delivered by your least physical cast members. Just write anything, and draw it out. Then draw it out again.
Second: Ignore your core audience. Your advertisers know your show attracts middle class people with disposable income and an interest in pop culture and current events. You know these people fast forward the DVR to the News segment on Sunday afternoon, hoping for a surprise drop in by Amy or Tina. The only people watching live are drunk college boys who would love to see a lot of Gabrielle Anwar. Don't pander. Remember, you went to Yale.
Third: Build the finish around the asinine guest host. When you've set up the situation so that the host's eye line to the cue cards isn't painfully obvious, you've already won half the battle. Now capitalize on that by giving the energy of a scene about relative levels of fame to a guy who's basically a frat boy without portfolio. Because the object of the game is to be smart and funny. And nothing shows how smart and funny you are like using a show featuring this guy...
to crack wise about a show that features this guy.
Gotta have the right stuff. Just swapped out the stuff I needed for the D&D book to the stuff (or some of it) I want to have to hand for the at bat middlegrade fantasy, the on deck adult fantasy, and the in the hole stories. |
